choosing the right path

7 years ago, when I was at the age of my kids, some people(IT instructors, seniors, juniors, peers and teachers) saw my potential in graphics and multimedia. They told me this "Wah, looks like you no need to worry about your rice bowl in the future. Can go into designing!"

I told them about my dream career since young: teaching. They would tell me "kinda wasted. Why not teach these stuff?"

Then I struggled. Shall I go into designing, which I seem to be good at, or shall I go into teaching? After reflecting for a few days, I've realised that I hate being bounded to my desk, staring at the screen for hours designing. True, it's a great hobby. But as a job? I think i'll hate it. After all, creativity isn't something that I can gurantee all the time - who knows how many sub-standard websites I'll produce due to a lack of creativity at any point in time?

Today, I've realised how tired I am of designing things for organisations. I used to have a sense of satisfaction seeing the finished product of a website. But then, I realise, what's the big deal about it? It's just for the image of the organisation. Something that's good to have, but not really neccessary. After all, image is so temporal, it can be changed anytime within a few months. Doesn't help when there are different kinds of browsers out there using different rendering engine, which means that I have to ensure that what looks good on this browser will work for the other browser. How nice if the engineers of these browsers know the kind of problems they're causing and unneccessary codes that has to be added just for the website to work.

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate designing. I still like it as a hobby. But I just hate designing things for organisations now. I'm sick about coaxing people from the organisation to be sure what they want to communicate to those seeing their website, when for most of the time, these people don't know what the hell they want from the website! Seems like to them, a website is something they "must have", but they don't know what are they going to have it for. Kinda like the Hello Kitty soft toys that McDonalds used to give - everyone thinks its a "must have", but don't know "what for".

I'm sick of asking them to change their way of thinking and writing, and that the web is a totally different medium requiring a different form of writing. Yet, they insist on their ways that has great damage to the user friendliness and the purpose of the website.

I'm sick of not feeling anymore sense of satisfaction after finishing a website for an organisation. Yes, people may say "wah, it looks good!" or "great job!". But I can't help but to see how much new skills I could have picked up but didn't. I've always wanted to learn Actionscript for Flash since the time I've learnt Flash, but never got to really pick it up. And now, it has advanced so far ahead. Now with AJAX, PHP, it seems like the web can do so much more, and I'm still stuck with static websites, and the newest technology I've ever employed is just CSS.

I've wanted a break from designing in hall. True, it elevated my status in hall during my first year. But I want to try something new. Yet, I can't. I can't get my designing break, and I'm increasingly tired of myself being far behind the possiblities of the web. I'm tired of myself churning out the same designs over and over again. True, it may have wowed people. But it didn't wow me.

I'm grateful for having these design skills. After all, it's these skills that allow me to make slides that wow my classmates and teachers for that extra mark in presentation. After all, it's these skills that allow me to wow my lecturer and tutorial mates for the extra marks my group can get. After all, it's these skills that allow me to make slides that are easy to comprehend and look good.

But I'm sick of designing for organisations. After these few websites, I'll stop.

I've found a much more satisfying and purposeful use for my design skills - education.

I don't need to have fancy background or flashy animations. Simple fading in and out, tweening etc is enough to create an animation that allow the students appreciate the formation of a feature much better. Slightly less effort, yet something much more purposeful and satisfying.

I don't need to illustrate colourful pictures, yet, simple black and white diagrams are enough to help them understand a process so much better.

I'm thankful that I have these skills - it allows me to make notes that are clearer, more presentable, with better and clearer diagrams. Especially useful for someone who teaches geography.

Though it's less fanciful that creating website, I find it more purposeful and satisfying.

After all, a good diagram or animation can help a student understand a concept in 5s, as compared to explaining it in words in 5 minutes.
A good sets of notes that is clear can help a student understand and better revise in 5 mins, as compared to ploughing through unneccessary words for 15 mins.

Nothing is more satisfying than helping someone understand something better and faster. And with these design skills, I've found a much more purposeful and satisfying use to it.