if i may

if i may,
I wanna pat your back,
and whisper a "thank you".
For making working so hard for the past 3 months,
For putting up a wonderful show
For producing a float that we all call our own.
For making me shed my first tear of pride for KR at the climax of the performance.
Though we didn't win, that was enough.

If I may,
I wanna pat your back,
and whisper a "sorry, I can't do it"
I'm sick of designing posters, websites,
for events, for companies, for organisations.
I wanted to do something new,
you said "no we need you",
and I didn't say "no" hard enough.
Now I'm dragging myself to do it well,
but end up dragging everyone down.
It is no excuse,
but I will give my best.

If I may,
I wanna say it to you all,
I'm proud of you all,
I'm thankful for you all,
but I can't say it out at all.

If I may,
I want to know why you're like this.
I want to know your story.

If I may,
I wanna pat your head,
and give you a hug
the kind which a big brother would give his younger brother,
and say "thank you"
for what you've given me.
To be able to see you grow,
to give me saddness and disappointment,
only to replace it with pride and joy in a moment.
To have someone who's like a younger brother to me,
a younger brother that I never had.

If I may,
I wanna leave quietly, unannounced.
disappear overnight,
along with all the memories you all have of me.
But that's now possible,
But I owe you all a proper closure.
I don't know how to do it yet.
I can't bring myself to.
Perhaps its best left unsaid.

If I may...........
If I may...............