i swore

i made this decision 2 years ago
to never to return to the old pasture as one of the animals there
unless it fulfils any of the 2 conditions i set.

now one of the conditions will never be fulfilled.
as for the other condition,
i don't even think it will materialise.

so yeh. i'll keep to that promise i made to myself.
it's not like 2 years ago,
where what i gave up
means benefiting a huge number of people who mattered to me.
now if i were to do the same thing,
it will only benefit less than 5 people who mattered to me.
the cost is simply too much on me.
besides, they have so many alternatives available.

as for the new pasture,
i think i can make a promise to myself
and swear by the conditions
in which whether i'll return to it as one of the animals there.