like a round object surrounded by squarish objects

have you felt like this before?
like a round object surrounded by squares and rectangles.

the illusion that you have fitted in this group
that you're surrounded and with them all the time
but underneath this illusion,
the only bonds you have with them is superficial
it is unlike theirs where it is so tight and close
they fit each other so well
but you,
you are just someone with superficial bonds
only one small part of contact.
as much as you want the bond to be tighter,
it seems impossible

it's not like you don't have other round objects that "click" with you literally
it's just that they are not around most of the time
but when you meet, you click
but most of your other time
you're surrounded by these squares and rectangles

i used to have the illusion that i've fitted in
among this group of squares and rectangles
so when one of them is troubled,
i do what i did for those who are close to me.

then one sentence from one of them
came like a slap on the face
"you don't know me well enough
stop pretending like you do"

suddenly the illusion of fitting in is gone
and that i don't belong becomes more apparent.

i no longer know what to do
should i continue to try
and risk more slaps of "stop pretending that you know me well enough"?

but yet i'm always surrounded by them
perhaps i should just acknowledge the fact that
what i enjoy with them turns out to be an illusion
my apparent deeper bonds with them is just an illusion.

perhaps it is time to move away.