Reality check
"Sometimes, we get lost in doing so much things, somethings that we do for very selfish reasons, and forgot that the core of our profession. You are a living reminder and we are thankful that you reminded us that"
- some of my ex-collegues, who I shall not name.
They told me that, springing on a cake on my last day in SKSS. I was shocked and touched when I heard that. In the first place, they have not done anything which I would consider as selfish, i.e. for own career advancement or profile raising, at the expense of others or the kids. They are some of the teachers whom I respect in SKSS, who always think about the kids. And for them to say that they were lost, I'm lost for words. I guess only those with the passion would be reminded and awaken, while those with the rotten core who is always looking for political gains could not be reminded, awaken or healed.
How easy is it to get lost in teaching? Well, very. Recently, the CTBWIK (Circle of Teachers' Blogs Who I Kaypoh) mentioned about how easy it is to get demoralise in teaching, or succumb to the dark side of winning awards and forgetting the students.
1) Only 10% of your performance (or one of them claim) is graded for what you taught, and what you did to the kids, how well you groom them. The other 90% is the number of projects you win for the school, number of awards, aka things to raise your profile. I don't know if this is school specific, or system specific, but I tend to think it's system specific, judging from the sources of this complains that I have heard form.
2) The school is busy asking you to input data, meetings, paper work for some unrelated awards like Singapore Quality Class, organise events, on top of managing CCAs, prepare lessons and worksheet. Oh wait, you don't have time for yourself, or your family or your students!
I have rationalised where I received my gratification during my relief teaching stint in SKSS. I have always wondered how the other teacher manage all these, when the academic load is enough to leave me with only 4 hours of sleep.
Firstly, most of my energy is spent on my passion. Well, I do not have to manage CCAs(though I kaypoh ELDDS), plan events(though I help out in one or 2), take attendance, collect money, do weekly reflection log. That leaves me time to create better lessons, better animation, better resources to teach the kids, and receive better gratificaiton from them. That also leaves me more time to interact with them, talk to them, counsel them, chat with them in MSN to ensure their development and to bond with them. Without this extra time, I wouldn't have exchanged so much emotional resources to receive the gratification of watching them grow.
Second, as a relief teacher, I am only expected to teach well. So as long as I'm responsible and teach well, I am considered to have done my job well. Receiving positive feedback, and being appraised only on that, from various level, of course would motivate me to do more. Imagine the other teachers - they can give the best lessons in the world, but given a ranking of D because they didn't do much events or projects. How would they feel? Compared to giving medicore lessons and do things to ensure your promotion and bonus. It is easy to succumb to the dark side.
I'm aware of the dark side. I hope I stay with the "force" and never never succumb to it, or get disillusioned by it. Cause if I ever joined the dark side, I will be just like one of those I detest. Cause if I ever get disiullusioned, I can't change the system.
Reminder to self: Don't ever give up caring, and giving the best for the kids, no matter what they rank you according to. Cause that's what gave you the best time of your life. That's what gave you your kids, your 2E4, your laughter, your tears, your concern, your love. That's what drove u to work through the wee hours of the morning, to chat with them. That's what make your job worthwhile.
BIG REMINDER TO SELF: DON'T EVER SUCCUMB TO THE DARK SIDE
- some of my ex-collegues, who I shall not name.
They told me that, springing on a cake on my last day in SKSS. I was shocked and touched when I heard that. In the first place, they have not done anything which I would consider as selfish, i.e. for own career advancement or profile raising, at the expense of others or the kids. They are some of the teachers whom I respect in SKSS, who always think about the kids. And for them to say that they were lost, I'm lost for words. I guess only those with the passion would be reminded and awaken, while those with the rotten core who is always looking for political gains could not be reminded, awaken or healed.
How easy is it to get lost in teaching? Well, very. Recently, the CTBWIK (Circle of Teachers' Blogs Who I Kaypoh) mentioned about how easy it is to get demoralise in teaching, or succumb to the dark side of winning awards and forgetting the students.
1) Only 10% of your performance (or one of them claim) is graded for what you taught, and what you did to the kids, how well you groom them. The other 90% is the number of projects you win for the school, number of awards, aka things to raise your profile. I don't know if this is school specific, or system specific, but I tend to think it's system specific, judging from the sources of this complains that I have heard form.
2) The school is busy asking you to input data, meetings, paper work for some unrelated awards like Singapore Quality Class, organise events, on top of managing CCAs, prepare lessons and worksheet. Oh wait, you don't have time for yourself, or your family or your students!
I have rationalised where I received my gratification during my relief teaching stint in SKSS. I have always wondered how the other teacher manage all these, when the academic load is enough to leave me with only 4 hours of sleep.
Firstly, most of my energy is spent on my passion. Well, I do not have to manage CCAs(though I kaypoh ELDDS), plan events(though I help out in one or 2), take attendance, collect money, do weekly reflection log. That leaves me time to create better lessons, better animation, better resources to teach the kids, and receive better gratificaiton from them. That also leaves me more time to interact with them, talk to them, counsel them, chat with them in MSN to ensure their development and to bond with them. Without this extra time, I wouldn't have exchanged so much emotional resources to receive the gratification of watching them grow.
Second, as a relief teacher, I am only expected to teach well. So as long as I'm responsible and teach well, I am considered to have done my job well. Receiving positive feedback, and being appraised only on that, from various level, of course would motivate me to do more. Imagine the other teachers - they can give the best lessons in the world, but given a ranking of D because they didn't do much events or projects. How would they feel? Compared to giving medicore lessons and do things to ensure your promotion and bonus. It is easy to succumb to the dark side.
I'm aware of the dark side. I hope I stay with the "force" and never never succumb to it, or get disillusioned by it. Cause if I ever joined the dark side, I will be just like one of those I detest. Cause if I ever get disiullusioned, I can't change the system.
Reminder to self: Don't ever give up caring, and giving the best for the kids, no matter what they rank you according to. Cause that's what gave you the best time of your life. That's what gave you your kids, your 2E4, your laughter, your tears, your concern, your love. That's what drove u to work through the wee hours of the morning, to chat with them. That's what make your job worthwhile.
BIG REMINDER TO SELF: DON'T EVER SUCCUMB TO THE DARK SIDE
posted by yanjie at
8:19 PM
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