GAH

just to add on to the previous post

anticipation is not the worst after all.

what's worse is to know that the kids are "drowning", and there is nothing you can do, until 2 months later, which by then, has snowballed to something worse.

anticipation + not being able to do anything is worse than aniticipation.

gah! can't wait for this term to end!

the worst 2 months

The coming 2 months will be the worst months that I'll ever encounter.

no, it's not just because all the project deadlines and tests will collide, and before we know it, exams arrive.

It's the anticipation that's killing me.

freda booked me. But whether I'm going back, it is not fully confirmed. Whether if I'm taking those classes, it's not confirmed. I guess it can only be fully confirmed in 2 months time, when I finish my exams.

It is these anticipation that's making things really difficult for me.

Like I told my kids, not knowing is better than anticipating. Not knowing and it doesn't happen is better than anticipating and only to be dissapointed that it didnt' happen.

CNY visiting

No, this is not a post about nosey relatives that question your marital status and sexuality once a year(thank goodness I don't have such relatives).

Every year, I made it a point to visit my ex-teachers during CNY, even when I was in NS. While since this year's CNY celebration for all school coincided with one of the busiest days of my week in NUS, I was unable to visit them. So I took time off from my books during this term break to vistit them.

First, PJC. Mr Chia CK has left for ACS international. will visit him some day soon.

Pei Chun. The Security is so tight, I can't even enter.

Anderson: made a big boo-boo there.

Was having lunch with Mdm Wong and some teacheres at the school canteen. We were soon joined by "Mrs Poh", whom I have never seen before. She asked about me, my teaching subjects etc.

I asked her what are her teaching subjects
"Oh I am a Maths teacher by training."

Me: "So what do you teach now?"

Cue Mdm Wong slapping her forehead.

Yes, She's the new Principal (gasp!). Luckily she laughed it off.

Went back to SKSS today. Was at how different the new staff room is. Had a good time catching up with the ex-collegues (might be collegues again soon. hehe) and my kids. Most of the Kakas commented that I looked younger and more tan. I mean, how is it possible?

1) I'm hardly out doors, compared to last year, which i just left NS. How to get more tan?
2) I sleep less each day while in NUS then I was in SKSS. How come look younger?

Strange. Probably the food at Fong Seng or Sheares Supper Stall are elixer to youth .

But it was a nice trip back nonetheless. It was good seeing those kids again. Different, yet the same. But I can't help feel sad that spaces in SKSS that make it a cozy space between staff and students have been removed.

sigh.

sepet & gubra

wanted to watch "Sepet" & "Gubra" when it came to the theatres during the past few yrs. As usal, due to conflicting schedules with people who appreciate such films and unable to find people who appreciate such film with un-conflicting schedules, I didn't watch the film. So you can imagine how elated I was when it was shown on Suria over the wekend.

It was a good change, and I enjoyed it. Will savour it's beauty and subtleness before blogging it in detail. Here are some of my favourite quotes from the movie:

'How long does it take to fall in love?'
'A minute. How long did it take you to fall in love with me?'
'Much less than that..'

“Let the people who never find true love believe that there is no such thing. Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.” - Wislawa Szymborska.

and my favourite quote, a translated poem from an indian poet:
"say of him what you like
but i know my child's failings
I do not love him because he is good
but becuase he is my child
How can you know how sweet he is
when all you do is measure teh good and the bad
When I must punish him,
he becomes even more a part of me
When I make him weep, I weep with him.
i alone have a right to judge him
for only he who loves may chastise"

coincidence

so happen that an hour or so back, was chit chatting in mel's room with jiaxin. Mel asked me about my past relationship(s) (FYI, there wasn't a single one by the way).

So happened that I blogged about it earlier today.

anyway, i realised that i have yet to blog anything about education for a long time. Perhaps, I guess, I'm away from the educationscene too long to mention anything or say anything credible.

A barrage of misc thoughts

I have given it a long thought, and after much discussion with Siyong, I have agreed to take up the position, when he finally convinced me that it wouldn't compromise the other commitments that I intend to take in hall.

Went home the day before yesterday to start unpacking my stuff to the newly renovated house for cny. I like the new study room - it's a lot more storage space, yet a lot more spacious. Now I have a proper surface to work on my mackie instead of doing it on the floor.

I totally forgot that today is V-day (or Friendship Day for those who "yung mai mee feen") until Shi Li gave me a Tomborone.

The other day, we had lots of fun in Thai class when ?aacan(teacher) introduced the term "feen" to us, which basically mean boyfriend / girlfriend.

I was asked "Mii Feen Liao Mai?" (direct transltion: Have Girlfriend already no?)
I replied "Pom mai mii feen"(direct translation: I(for guys) no have girlfriend)
?aacan said that it should be "pom YUNG mai mii fenn" ( I yet no have girlfriend)

For my case, I don't think the "yet" is neccessary.

"It's not true, that I don't wanna find love,
it just that I don't wish to hurt,
cause I wouldn't be there, most of the time to
there keep her safe,
and then she's left there all alone again"
- (Butchered lyrics of a song from Hall Production)

it's over

production is over.

After months of slogging and hardwork, it's finally over.

Like many of my fellow production-mates, we are currently having withdrawal systems. After all, a few months of your life revolves around this single event. Now that the centre of attraction where our life revolves around is gone, naturally we will feel a little disorientated.

I have deadlines and backlog to clear, cause I was busy with production. But I don't know why, I can't put down production yet. Perhaps it's because it's my first major event in KR which I'm part of the organising team.

But it's all worth it. I'm extremely proud to be part of a extremely talented and dedicated team, extemely proud to have my name attached to a wonderful production. It's been a long time since I had this feeling - a cocktail of pride, satifsfaction, and relief, yet sad that it's all over.

Then again, my job is far from over.

"alone in a crowd"

I saw this quote, "alone in a crowd".

Some say how is it possible.

but that statement resonated in me.

check in

1 week more to production. Hey, i survived preparing slides, worksheets, notes and marking work for 8 classes, of 3 different levels, inclusive of extra lessons as well. I can survive this too.