looking back at 2009

i didn't want to write this post initially, as i think the transition to a new year is over-hyped. it's just another day, another typical day. what's the big deal? there is no religious and cultural significance for most singaporeans. it may sound cynical but i'm not. rather, it is because i treasure every single day more so than some treasure 1 jan. and all the things about resolutions - like the comic on the papers the other day, if it is really important, why wait till the new year to start?

but then again, 1 jan is a good marker to stop and look back at what was done in between the 365.25 days. not because it is significant, but it's just convenient.

so how has the 2009 year been?

ups and downs i'll say, but that's typical of life. when there's up, there's always down. it’s also the year since my ord that i have never taught in a school.

the world started the year with the dark clouds of a global recession looming over. then obama got sworn in, which in the eyes of many, a sliver lining among the dark clouds which promises sunnier day ahead. iphone craze descended upon singapore, but i don't really care actually. not that i'm cynical but seriously, how many people who own it needs a phone with those functionality? think before you buy, don't buy it because it is "cool". i didn't jump on the mac ship just because it is cool. i did my research and considered for months before deciding that it is way better for me. unlike those idiots who jump ship just because "it is cool" without knowing what it can do and can't do, and start complaining about the little little things that mac can't do . that's always a trade off idiot.

on a personal note, the year started off weird. i embarked on a life changing journey for about 6 months. before i set off, there were much uncertainty about mae, who was diagnosed with cancer in november. things seemed hopeful, surgery has removed the tumour, she's going through follow-up chemo to make sure that there is no relapse. i went through my first winter and had my first encounter with snow, and experienced its beauty and the inconvenience that followed.

while i was adapting to the place within the first week, i woke up at 2am in the morning in anticipation for my monkids and dis o'level results. some were ideal, some not so, some did better than expected. but hey, i'm glad that in the end, practically all of them get to do the course of their choice. grades is never a measure of how good a person you are or how smart you are. grades are just the system way to decide who gets their first choice. never let your grades define you.

back to while being away, i learnt to be more independent, and thanks to kr, i become more adventurous and confident with travelling. i did solo trips, hiking and camping with the cam gang, and did things i never thought i'll try before i left. i learnt a lot, opened my eyes further, and collected loads of lesson materials.

and just when i was about to come back, all hope was lost. the chemo didn't work. in less than a week after i returned to sg, she passed on. seems like when cancer strikes those close to me, it always seem to turn better, only to take them away eventually. thanks to h1n1, i couldn't go over to see her without fearing that i might carry the disease along. thanks to reservist, i couldn't go over throughout the holidays.

since my kids have graduated in 2008, i thought i wouldn’t be doing any tutoring this year. but my doors were knocked upon and i did a few secretly.

and the sem started. it was extremely busy, but had great friends. went on 2 wonderful fieldtrips and learnt a lot as well. ca grades was the worse ever in my nus life, which despite mugging the hardest ever in my whole nus life, the results were less than ideal.

everyone starts a new year with much hope that it will be better than the previous. i say be realistic, life will always have its ups and downs. you cannot expect nothing bad to happen to you in those 365 1/4 days. it does and it will.

but it doesn't mean we should start a year being pessimistic. being realistic is not being pessimistic or cynical - it is knowing what to expect so that we wouldn't be upset when it comes. that means it keeps our optimism floating, and our hope for possibilities high in the sky.