a shoutout to another of my di

i know you understand why i scolded you this morning, and that you are aware of my intentions.

but i'm not irritated nor pissed off. i'm actually worried.

i've always looked forward to meeting you almost every week. to spend some time with you, to help you with your work, to know how you are doing. but deep down inside, i'm worried that i'm doing more harm than good.

why so? cause if you rely too much on me, you will not be an independent learner. you will not have the confidence to trust what you've just learnt and studied and think on your own two feet.

for the past semester, i was quite heartened that it wasn't the case. you've always done your work, tried to search for the answer on your own - only when you can't, then u would ask me.

but this morning, it wasn't the case. things are laid out there for you to read and understand, but you didn't and asked me to explain it to you. it wouldn't do you good if i explain to you without you reading up first.

explanations are only effective when you have tried to make sense of it on your own but can't. it's like playing a rubik cube - if you have never touched the cube before and dive straight to using certain methods, it wouldn't be as fun and satisfying compared to you yourself figuring it out first right?

it's like when i was trying to learn the thai fiddle this semester. the teacher didn't tell me how to hold it - only after i tried on my own for like an hour plus, did she correct my posture and stuff. it's only when i tried to figure out on my own did i realise why i shouldn't do it and why her method is better.

so as long as you've tried but don't understand, it's fine that you ask me. but if you didn't even read it before you ask me, i don't think that i'm doing you a service if i explain to you directly.

you're my di. you're never a bother nor a chore to me.

*ruffle your head*