a year end
the final day of 2007.
i've forgotten how much i used to go to the roof top of my block, sit on the swing, and look into the sky and think about things. somehow that's a nice place to be alone and empty my thoughts.
i went up today, and realise i have not done that for the whole semester. the sky was especially clear today. loads of stars, nice cool breeze.
i look back and wonder. i ended 2006 with so much hope. results was unexpectedly good. i was getting busy with my first major event in hall. i was toying with the idea of going back to teach my kids once more.
now i've come to the end of 2007. results is bad, unless the review reveal that those buggers made a mistake. and i know i'm no longer going back to teach my kids (and now, some are my bros) anymore.
somehow 2007 started very well. everything was interesting, fresh. my modules were great, as it challenged my assumptions. i churned out things after things for hall, which somehow tells everyone what i'm capable of.
when the academic year ended, i was reunited with my kids and colleagues (sounds so soap opera) and my modules timetable fitted my teaching timetable perfectly. took them for half a year, all the way to their exams, which didn't turn out well, which i have responsibility for.
i thought i was closer to most of them. most, but for those who matter more, we just seem to be drifting apart. somehow things have become a monologue.
what's there to look forward to next year?
other than field studies, i can't think of any.
i'll never have the chance to take my kids and dis anymore. i guess i'll be faded away from them very quickly. somehow, i have difficulty fading them away, when they have become important to me. right now they may be hoping i'll be back to take them for geography, as they thought all the good geography teachers have left. they thought. when one of the kaks take them next year, they will know how much better she is, and i'll just be someone in the distant memory.
colleagues, so many of them have left that place.
hall, i doubt i'll be given a chance to stay on. they found a better designer. who wants a senior who can't play sports for inter-block games and stays for only 1 semester cause he's likely to go for exchange on the 2nd semester?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
it seems like 2007 is a year where things that were important to me becomes more important - only to be taken away from me.
so what's there to look forward to next year, when all those things important to you are taken away?
i guess it's something i will only find out next year.
that's life isn't it? when it feels like nothing is left, just sleep and another day comes - till the day something comes. in the meantime, there is always the swing on the rooftop.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home