the pendulum swings
i have used this analogy many times i think - about the bonds between a teacher and his/her students and how it's like a pendulum.
the pendulum is akin to the state of the teacher. if you choose to be a more detached teacher, the pendulum is at the neutral position - doesn't swing forward, doesn't swing backward. no exhilaration, it doesn't bring you to the gratifying and joyful zone in front, but it doesn't swing back into the sadness and disappointments zone.
however, if you choose to be a teacher who is closer to his/her student, you've just swung the pendulum. it will bring you exhilaration, it will swing forward to a zone of joy and gratification, but it will inevitably swing to the zone of sadness and disappoint behind. the closer you are to your students, the greater the amplitude of the oscillation - greater joy, greater gratification, but greater sadness and disappoint is part of the package as well.
so far, i have chose not to let the pendulum remain in neutral position. i found extreme joy and gratification, and extreme sadness to the point i cried too. thrice to be exact, but never in front of them. when i cried out of helplessness and disappointment, i did ask myself - should i go for the neutral position instead? the answer is always a "no". i realised that it's the joy and gratification that drives me in teaching - i just need to learn how to cope when the pendulum swings to the back and make sure it doesn't hit me in the face.
today, i met up with two of my kids who asked me about geography. i have not taught them since 2006. but never did i expect to tear in front of them today.
why so? one of them talked about giving up on himself and no longer believing that his effort has any impact. those words broke my heart. no wonder there is this chinese saying - 哀莫大于心死 - the saddest thing in the world is when someone's heart dies.
i'm not sure what i said change anything. the last thing i want to do is to set and expectation and expect him to follow. i hope i didn't. i hope he believes in himself now and believe in his efforts. that's why you wanted to try again, right?
as long as you don't give up on yourself, you will always find people who don't give up on you either.
don't apologise to me. you didn't do anything wrong. those tears, it's not your fault. it's just part and parcel of the pendulum swinging, the price i have to pay for choosing this path. i have learnt to cope with it. i'm glad that you voice it out in fact.
don't lose hope. hold fast to what you want to do in life.
the pendulum is akin to the state of the teacher. if you choose to be a more detached teacher, the pendulum is at the neutral position - doesn't swing forward, doesn't swing backward. no exhilaration, it doesn't bring you to the gratifying and joyful zone in front, but it doesn't swing back into the sadness and disappointments zone.
however, if you choose to be a teacher who is closer to his/her student, you've just swung the pendulum. it will bring you exhilaration, it will swing forward to a zone of joy and gratification, but it will inevitably swing to the zone of sadness and disappoint behind. the closer you are to your students, the greater the amplitude of the oscillation - greater joy, greater gratification, but greater sadness and disappoint is part of the package as well.
so far, i have chose not to let the pendulum remain in neutral position. i found extreme joy and gratification, and extreme sadness to the point i cried too. thrice to be exact, but never in front of them. when i cried out of helplessness and disappointment, i did ask myself - should i go for the neutral position instead? the answer is always a "no". i realised that it's the joy and gratification that drives me in teaching - i just need to learn how to cope when the pendulum swings to the back and make sure it doesn't hit me in the face.
today, i met up with two of my kids who asked me about geography. i have not taught them since 2006. but never did i expect to tear in front of them today.
why so? one of them talked about giving up on himself and no longer believing that his effort has any impact. those words broke my heart. no wonder there is this chinese saying - 哀莫大于心死 - the saddest thing in the world is when someone's heart dies.
i'm not sure what i said change anything. the last thing i want to do is to set and expectation and expect him to follow. i hope i didn't. i hope he believes in himself now and believe in his efforts. that's why you wanted to try again, right?
as long as you don't give up on yourself, you will always find people who don't give up on you either.
don't apologise to me. you didn't do anything wrong. those tears, it's not your fault. it's just part and parcel of the pendulum swinging, the price i have to pay for choosing this path. i have learnt to cope with it. i'm glad that you voice it out in fact.
don't lose hope. hold fast to what you want to do in life.
posted by yanjie at
11:33 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home