why couldn't read?

some of you asked me, why my blog was locked up for the past few hours.

i did something stupid today. i disrespected someone whom i have respected. it hurt the person greatly and it made me rethink of some of the things i have written in this blog as well.

the disrespect and hurt wasn't intentional. but it was against the values of the person and i did push some buttons as a result. plus the timing was really bad.

hence i decided to lock it up for a moment. but after some thought, i've decided that i have to take responsibility for what i've written or said in the past. hence now, i'm unlocking it once more.

however, i would really appreciate to know who are the ones reading my blog. please leave a comment or tag or msn me to tell me. especially the one who's coming from your singnet webmail - please identify yourself.

grow up

i thought they have grown up
i was wrong.

it's amazing how fast they are still growing,
maturing,
especially in thought.

the power of words

this is actually my favourite speech from now us president barack obama (oh it feels so good saying that).


words are really powerful.
it can make or break people.

just words?
think about the teacher who encouraged you to do something you never thought of doing,
or the teacher who put you down.

numbers

spare me the rates,
i'm only interested about the exchange rates,
and not your passing or distinction rates.

spare me the msg,
i'll rather die of monosodium glutamate overdose,
than to hear you rant about mean subject grades.

for freaking goodness sake,
they are my kids
and some my dis.
stop de-humanising them with such statistics.

is it that difficult
to look at them as whole people,
and that academic grades are just a measure of a part of them
and not a reflection of the whole person?

is it that difficult
to see their individual efforts
instead of averaging them out into a certain percentage?

yes i know this sounds a little idealistic.
yes i know you have certain administrative obligations to fulfil in crunching this numbers.

but for goodness sake,
remember what it is for
administrative purposes.

it is not for you to say if the whole cohort did well or not.
it is not for you to judge if they put in effort or not.
it is not for you to compare if the previous batch is better than this batch.

yes, you might want to use it to evaluate whether if you're doing the right thing.
but remember, it's to evaluate what you have done.
you.

not them,
nor what they have done.
don't dehumanise them.
with these numbers.
i've made that mistake before.
don't make it again.

reaction

frankly i don't really know how to react at the start.

some did better than expected,

some who gambled by spotting for such a crucial exam had their fingers burnt deservingly. 

some, their hard work paid off better than they wished,

some, i thought they deserve better given the amount of hardwork they've put it.

i've been telling them,

you may not get what you wish for,

but what you get might be better than what you wished for.

i told them the story of "how all the dots connect when you look back"

how it's been the case for gim, alien and my own post-jc life,

when u make the best of what's here and excel in it.

truth to be told,

some of them worked so hard.

read my past post and you'll know

more than a year of red-eyes, consistent hardwork.

yes, some had their hardwork paid off.

but some, secretly, my heart broke.

not out of disappointment - they could only make me more proud.

but rather, that their efforts is not rewarded, and they deserve better.

i know we need examples to prove to some people,

that people do not do well in school not because they are not working hard enough.

i know we need examples to prove to some people,

that academic results is not the measure of a person.

but must it be them,

who despite all the hardwork,

be under-measured or looked down upon

by their family whom they want more love from,

just because of less-than-ideal results?

must it be them, 

to set the examples for us to use?

i don't know how much my words help them feel better

i don't know how much my love helps them.

i'm trying to convince them,

and so am i making myself trust,

that the dots will connect when they look back.

but i will still continue to trust this feeling, 

that i always had from the start,

that they will exceed me in life.

o's is just a step.

once you move to the next step,

nobody cares about your o's anymore.

d-day

they say they are worried and nervous.

and we constantly assure them that it will be fine.

truth to be told,

we are the ones who are more worried 

and more nervous. 

but we have to hide that behind an assuring face

the road home

waiting at the bus stop at the passenger terminal for a bus to the victory monument. after 20 minutes did i finally see the notice that says that all bus services have moved to the new transportation centre and i have to take the shuttle bus (which i saw pass by me 4 times) to there.

the new transportation centre.

waiting for the bus to move off to victory monument. something funny happened: when the bus conductor came up, she was commenting to the driver how delicious the "farang" (guava) that she's munching on is. the farang (caucasian) seated behind the driver was visibly shocked. now all we need is a marn farang (potato) to finish up the puns.

bus from victory monument to pakkret

the village entrance

park soi or the main lane (soi) that leads to all near 40 other sois. about to hail a motorcycle taxi.

the soi leading home.

i'm back.

and for someone.

i nearly laughed my heads off when i saw this on the vest of the uncle whose motorcycle i rode. you can use this if you start a similar business. hehe. 

the day the monkids treated the floating log

some of the monkids and dis got wind that the floating log will be going away for a long time
and they decided to treat the floating log today.

the floating log didn't know what it will be like
but it turns out
it seems as if nothing has changed
it's like things were on pause for 2 months,
and now someone pressed the play button once more.

the same silence was there through out.
but when time is only with 2 of them,
the silent one, who has been avoiding,
suddenly can't wait to tell all.

the silence was finally explained
it wasn't out of avoidance
but preferring other modes of communicating

today they made it really clear
for they will want to keep in contact with the floating log.
many ask the floating log to take care
and ask them out again when the floating log is back.

somehow, someone seems to be playing tricks with the floating log
2 years ago, november and december,
the floating log was struggling and decided to give up on all,
yet at the turn of 2008,
all clear signs were there for him to take it back

2 months ago, the floating log was struggling too
and decided to give it all up also.
but yet at the turn of this year,
the words couldn't be clearer than before.

thank you
thank you for giving me a clear sign of what's next.
it's only after today did the floating log understand
why one of the monkids said what he said a week back.
cause things hasn't change,
when the floating log thought it has.

the ticket truly doesn't belong to the floating log
because his destination is different

it was only when the sun rose today
at the break of dawn,
with the initial rays
that illuminate the lands
did the floating log see
that he's heading for a better destination
one where the monkids and dis are with him
throughout the journey