shout out to dick cheney

i seriously don't see how using the techniques that makes people more angry with you, hate you more, and drive their desire to destroy you will make america safer. Probably during your term, but in the longer run? oh wait, that wouldn't be your problem, while you can claim that you've made usa safer right?

please have a more rationale argument. you are making yourself look stupid.

how can radha not be jealous? overcoming prejudice

when i was in j1, the literature department decided to show "lagaan" for its movie week. before that, my idea of bollywood movie is very much the ignorant and offensive stereotype - couples chasing around coconut trees, endless song and dance, extremely co-ordinated dancing and people speaking in a tongue twisting language.

but somehow, i decided to go to the lt and watch "lagaan" for some unknown reason. that changed it all.

i realised that the coconut trees, like most stereotypes, are non-existent. hello? set in north india, got coast to have coconut trees meh?

i also realise that the endless song and dance are not without reason - the lyrics of the songs are filled with meanings. it's written as though as it is poetry. what took my breathe away was this "radha kaise na jale", or how can radha not be jealous number, which the two childhood sweetheart, in the context of a temple festival, use the story of krishna and his consort, radha, as a veil to discuss about the possible entry of the third party into their relationship. all the symbolism, hidden meaning and parallels, it's not just song and dance, and is actually more layered than a musical number.

as for the co-ordinated dancing, think about it - chinese have their mountain songs (山歌), where a man and a woman flirt with the help of other men and women co-ordinately. you could tell from the dance that there are mechanisms for such things happening as well.

as for the tongue twisting language, with the subtitles, it doesn't seem like a foreign or funny-sounding language anymore.

i walked out of the lt feeling impressed and stupid. impressed by the movie, stupid of the kind of ignorance and stereotypes i held. it was also the basis of my prejudices i hold on bollywood movie, which before, i have not watched a single one. how does that justify my prejudices then?

subsequently, i watched a few more bollywood movie, cause they were showing it on art central (now okto) as international film series. from the movies i've watched, all i can say is
1) i've yet to spot a single coconut tree.
2) song and dance are not without reason - usually in the context of festival and celebration, of which i was told, very much a big part of life in south asia. so how is it out of the world or unbelievable then?
3) there are song and dance scenes, especially stories based in the cities, where the couples are magically transported to another location, or have people coming out of nowhere to dance with them. think of it as a mtv or a musical number - don't we have that in western movies and musicals too?
4) although some movies can be rather escapists, the stories are just wonderful!

so what prejudice do we hold today? is it base on our own ignorance?

here's how can radha not be jealous for you

when something jolts you

sometimes you thought,
after 9 years,
it seems like a fleeting memory.

something that you've essentialised,
something you've thought about,
making it into something like a life experience.

you thought you forgot the fear,
you thought you forgot the pain,
you thought you forgot the process.

until it's jolted out of you again.
despite years of telling myself,
nothing last forever,
things are impermanent,
nothing goes to nothing,
that's the truth of life.

yet it doesn't seem provide any comfort,
when the same emotions
that you thought was buried deep within 9 years ago,
was jolted out once more.

seems like no amount of "things are impermanent",
"attachment means sufferings",
will comfort the fear that has resurfaced.

人有悲欢离合，
月有阴晴圆确，
此事古难全。

lousy translation:
in a the life of a human, there's sadness, happiness, separation, and reunion.
in the cycle of the moon, there's days when it's clouded, clear, waxing, and waning.
such are things that are difficult to satisfy since the times of the past.

that's my response to a blog post by one of the monkeys in the new pasture, wondering when they'll reunite again.

a letter to my future children or student if he or she turns out to be a lbgt

dear future child or student,

i'm not sure what will they call it in the future. right now, people call anyone who's a lesbian, bisexual, gay and transexual as a lbgt.

i'm not sure when in my life i will encounter you, or if i'll encounter you at all in my life. but i'm pretty sure if i'm alive over the next 10 years, there is at least a 90% chance that one of you would enter my life. this is my letter to you, written on this day from the past, 07 may 2009.

right now, you might have discovered that you are different from other people. perhaps since birth, you may have felt that you are born in the wrong body. i hope you are clear that there is a difference between being a homosexual or transsexual, as compared to someone who's straight but a little more effeminate or manly. i hope you are clear that behaving in a certain manner does not make you a lbgt, nor joining certain cca make you a lbgt. it is not what people call you that makes you a lbgt, it's what's inside you that makes you a lbgt.

i don't know what is society's opinion of the lbgt at the time you read this. right now, from what i see, many in society stigmatise the lbgt. some label the lbgt as disgusting, have the impression that they are perverts obsessed with sex etc. of course, there are straight people out there who are more tolerant and open-minded (like me. hehe), but from observation, it seems like we are the minority straight people who are more accepting to the lbgt. there are still quite a few people who call effeminate males as "ah quah", whether they are straight or not, and show disgust when women behave "more manly". i have to admit, i was one of those who stigmatise, discriminate, and made fun of these people in the past as well.

i don't know if the debate would have been settled by the time you read this, but as of now, there is much debate over the cause of homosexuality and transsexuality. some say it is in-born, genetic or mental. some say it is a choice. as for me, i belong to those who believe that homosexuality is in-born. i find it hard to believe that homosexuality or transsexuality is a matter of choice. why so? if it is a choice, why are so many lbgt out there choose to be discriminated or stigmatised against? why is the decision on whether to come out of the closet so difficult if being a lbgt is a matter of choice? why are there lbgts hiding their sexuality if being one is a matter of choice?

you might be facing the same situation now. that is why i've decided to write this letter today. it is because today, i want to make it clear, that regardless of what my child is like, i will love him or her as much as i love my other children. regardless of what my student is like, i will love my student as much as a i love my other students. it doesn't matter if you're straight, homosexual, bisexual or transsexual. that doesn't mean you can't be a human that contribute to society. that doesn't make you any less of a human. that doesn't mean you have to feel less of yourself, that doesn't mean you are denied being a human being. that is why i'm saying it today, i'll love you as much as i love others, because you are not less human than others in anyway. in no way should you feel that you're a lesser person because you're a lbgt, just like how i believe a person of a different religion or ethnicity is not less of a person. you can achieve as much, or even more, as anyone else.

if you are my child, i don't know what your mother will feel like. but do let your father know. i only want you to be happy in life.

if you are my student, i don't know what how your parents will feel. if they can't accept it, please don't blame them. but don't assume or take it that they don't love you because you're a lbgt. sometimes, they need time. i have heard stories of parents who chase their child out of the house or disown them because they come out of the closet, and took decades to accept their child's sexuality to reconnect with their child. of course there are happier stories, but don't ever blame your parents. if you want them to accept you for the way you are, you have to first accept them for the way they are.

and most importantly, do not get upset or angry over people who make fun of you or can't accept you. don't judge them if you don't want them to judge you. like it or not, some people will have problems accepting your sexuality, just like how some people are still racists. just don't let it affect you, and hold your head up high - you're not any lesser of a human being.

i don't see how this letter would be encouraging anyone to be a lbgt, for the fact that i believe that lbgt is inborn. if you are considering being a lbgt just for experiment sake, please show some respect to the lbgts. your sexuality is not a game, your sexuality is not something for you to have some experiences in your life.

this is written, because i want to assure you, that in my eyes, you're not less of a person in my eyes because of your sexuality. this is something i've thought about for a few years, and decided to make this stand today.

my child, i love you.

there is somethings about her that is worth respecting

a lot of people refer to aware's now-defunct exco (nde) as josie lau's team. indeed, there are somethings that they have done, the way they handle certain things, the way they answer questions and content of their answers to questions have made me lost respect for them. most importantly, my respect for them is lost when they refuse to step down immediately when it is clear that the people they are leading have no confidence in them.

but among all, i still have some respect for josie lau for the following things she has done during the egm
1) kept her cool most of the time despite being bombarded many times
2) as the president, took responsibility when a member of her exco made the "shut up and sit down" remark.

i wish her all the best in her future endeavours. hopefully, people would leave her alone, and stop extra-polating her behaviour base on her affiliations, or the words and actions of people with the same affiliations as her.

what aku thinks about the aware egm

aku watch the recordings of the aware egm on youtube, and have the following thoughts

1) the war would have been won better if the crowd didn't hackle
although the now-defunct exco (nde) may not have run the meeting properly, or there were claims of them being bias and using "under-hand techniques"(require substantiation), or were asserting that they are of higher authority when the constitutions say that "the exco shall always remain subordinate in the general meeting", open inclusive arguments also means that you should let the other party speak and right to reply, even if it can be "long-winded, pointless, indirect, weakly-argued or bias". and sadly, their reply was making themselves look worse.

no, aku is not trying to suggest that women are suppose to behave in a particular manner. aku thinks that that's how anyone should behave for a inclusive and civil discussion.

2) aku is impressed with the old guard's graciousness
they are the ones who ask the crowd to give the nde time to talk, asking the crowd to calm down and be civil to let the nde talk (even though the mike for her wasnt turned on), asking the crowd to give the nde a applause for "stepping down graciously" (even though the motion has been filed for their removal 15 minutes before). however, aku doesn't approve the old guard's manner of interrupting Josie about with her "3 minutes limit" thing. although there are some injustices, aku thinks that it could be done better instead. but aku thinks that they have redeemed themselves later, as mentioned above. but of course, it would have been a lot better if they didn't do those stuff at the beginning.

3) aku is seriously puzzled by the nde's (lack of) people skills
"shut up and sit down"? i have never heard that in my whole schooling life, even when students are rowdier than this, and teachers have the authority to say such things, but they've never done so. and why are you asserting your position when it is not recognised by the crowd? and when the motion has been filed for you to be removed 15 minutes ago, along with a new meeting chair being elected, what gives you the right to declare the meeting close then?

4) why would you want to lead, or need time to consider, if the people who you are leading have no confidence in you?
leadership is about serving, at least that's my value. leadership position is not about power, or for your own portfolio building. you are entrusted with more power by others because they trust you with the power to do more good for everyone, that they can't do on their own. so why cling on to your power, or need time to consider whether you want to continue clinging on to it, when it is clear that the trust it's lost? then again, that's my values.

5) asserting your achievements and age is not the way to gain respect
don't tell me which page number you're on, or that you're an elder. yes, basic respect must be given to someone who's older than you, which to be fair, i think, is not really given to her. but like leadership, the respect is not given blindly - it is given because society thinks that you're wiser, and gone through a lot more in life. please do show that, not act foolishly.

6) the $90k question
to be fair, the egm is short-notice and that the nde might have taken the necessary spendings to organise its large scale. but even if you can't seek their approval in time, letting the members know in your email would have been better than them digging it out from you. transparency please. and aku thinks it is a stupid comment to say that the spendings is off-set by the surge in members - the money from the surge in members could have been used to do a lot more things for women.

7) (from the nde's press conference) if 1400+ people have no confidence in your leadership and also filed for your removal for office is "not representative of singapore women", i don't see how less than 200 people who voted you in is representative of singapore women.
and why are you shooting yourself in your feet by saying that most of those who voted you out are new members when those who voted you in are mostly new members too?

haiz

i find it sad that a woman of her status and age argue so weakly that an average secondary school student could do better linking of their argument than her. i'm pretty sure an average secondary student is able to find better evidence to substantiate their argument than her. and to suggest that 2 separate things are linked together?