life's little lessons from "tuesdays with morrie"

those who read my blog before knows how much i heart "tuesdays with morrie", and how every time i re-read it, different things resonate and pop out, because of different events that has happened in life. then i'll wonder how come i didn't remember it the last time i read it.

i re-read some parts of it today. turns out i found some answers as well.

i didn't realise. it's tuesday as well.

on loved ones
"Your brother," he said.

I felt a shiver. I do not know how Morrie knew this was on my mind. I had been trying to call my brother in Spain for weeks, and had learned - from a friend of his - that he was flying back and forth to a hospital in Amsterdam.

"Mitch, I know it hurts when you can't be with someone you love. But you need to be at peace with his desires. Maybe he doesn't want you interrupting your life. Maybe he can't deal with that burden. I tell everyone I know to carry on with the life they know - don't ruin it because I am dying."

But he's my brother, I said.

"I know," Morrie said. "That's why it hurts.".............................

............Morrie I said. Why doesn't he want to see me?

My old professor sighed. "There is no formula to relationships. They have to be negotiated in loving ways, with room for both parties, what they want and what they need, what they can do and what their life is like."

"In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you're too used to that. Love is different. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own.

You've had these special times with your brother, and you no longer have what you had with him. You want them back. You never want them to stop. But that's part of being human. Stop, renew, stop, renew."

I looked at him. I saw all the death in the world. I felt helpless.

"You'll find a way back to your brother," Morrie said.

How do you know?

Morrie smiled. "You found me, didn't you?"

i hope i can find my way back to them.
on attachment and letting go
Detaching yourself?
"yes. Detaching myself. And this is important - not just for someone like me, who is dying, but for someone like you, who is perfectly healthy. Learn to detach."

He opened his eyes. He exhaled. "You know what the Buddhists say? Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent."
But wait, I said. Aren't you always talking about experiencing life? All the good emotions, all the bad ones?
"Yes."
Well, how can you do that if you're detached?
"Ah You're thinking, Mitch. But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the conrar, you let it peneetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."
I'm Lost..............
Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely - but eventually be able to say, "All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I'm not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I'm going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I'm going to experience them as well."